STARING AT THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

Love,a hearty expression,An overflowing grail of emotions and desires.An inextinguishable warming thirst.A gentle section of you tripartite self.A feeling that bursts into trust and kindness,humility and honesty,a closet full of virtues.

Love is the extension of oneself objectively to nurture one’s own or another’s spiritual growth at will.

A widow with three kids was blessed with a slice of bread,she looked at her three year old son and opted him to have it in her place.Another starving widow harvested a poisonous fruit that was hanging to a height that didn’t require much effort to pluck on her way home after long hours of unfruitful search.She split the fruit into two halves and had her maltreated daughter have one half from her back,where she was fastened with a shawl.

Love is the fear of losing a self-projection,a spiritual extension of yourself.

Love begins from within me,If I can’t love myself then there is no way I can extend myself to others.It is more of diffusion,higher concentration points to lower concentration points.If I can’t buy myself lunch because I think it is an uncalled for expense,then someone comes into my life and I start buying lunch every time they come to visit,doesn’t mean that I love them,It means that there is some other hidden motive beyond love.

We all do things to impress those who we really think we love,even though we strain ourselves beyond our boundaries.You date someone who cancels your executive coaching programs every Thursday and replaces them with ‘Imax Thursdays’ .But you do it anyway,not because you love the idea,but because you think that they are the only things that can get you love and without them,all love is lost.

When I get angry,I walk inside my room and play with my toys for a little while,A thing I used to do nineteen years ago.Nineteen years ago,my dad bought me these toys so i could play them every time I felt lonely,this was even before i knew someone could make friends.I appreciated the time,and there was more to it than the feeling of Joy,an inward feeling of peace.Seventeen years later,I found this girl who I liked so much,we dated a whole year then broke up.I was all on my phone texting her about how much I can’t live without her.

A full seventeen years I have lived not knowing her,and now I believe that the world would force a stop if she walks away from me,this is actually how I learnt the definition of irony.

No man is an island?We all are islands,separated from land by water bodies.We are humans separated from each other by personality variance.

KEEP HOLDING MY HEART

As I took another close look into the river,I saw the water wrinkle into irregular reflections of me.Still clear,I could see myself,I could tell the part of me that was missing.All that I had confided within myself all these years slowly started dawning,I put my finger inside the water,then my arm.I had to go,I have been patiently waiting on this moment,the moment when I will return,return to the place where I belong,belong with the people I love.

After years of invocation to God for a walk around town,He blessed me with more than my family had hoped for,a job,but not just any ordinary job.A job that parts you away from home,but with this photograph,I sure will live to see tomorrow to remind me how close I am to seeing you again.

Being in the army is what I have dedicated myself to all this while,although at times I am torn apart between my family and the wider civilization,a civilization that I vowed to protect with my life.I pull through just fine after I read and re-read this letters my family wrote me.I smile cause I notice how lonely the family photo looks without me,there is nothing warmer than the feeling of hoping for somebody’s love the next time you meet.

As I stand the battle field,It is loud from the wailing and gunshot noises that prevail and blurred from the smoke that clouds beside and ahead of us,but that doesn’t limit me from focusing on my targets.They can’t kill me,not today,my service to my country is still green,these people need me.What will my sons say when I am gone?how red will my wife’s face turn when she tries to come into terms with her loss?I could picture her crying,I could see her saddened face hid behind her palms,besides losing me,she loses a great deal of water through her eyes. That’s just too much for me.

I step up my game,an epic moment of coordination stems us firmly against our oppressors,I could see some of us retreating back,others dying,brave heroic warriors.But those of us who hoped to live,fought with the last of their tooth.

God bless those who love so much,those who find discomfort in pain,those who unconditionally give themselves away for the sacrifice of a whole lot.

LONG TREE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW

Clack!Thud!I tried winning my grip back to my feet but I only tumbled down,crushing everything that I lay my arms on.I folded myself together,not knowing what was about to stream next.”I never thought you were smart,you have always been a load of shit!that’s all you have always grown up to!”I could faintly pay attention to the cursing demeaning words that came from my father’s foul mouth.I was being hosted on yet another weekly edition of ‘I hate you’ live show scripted and fully endorsed by my dad.How I slithered my way outside,still remains a point of mystery,a bright choice,a smart outcome.

My friends at school call me ‘freaky Ken’.Silent and still but my eyes speak death and confusion.I don’t seem to be the kind of person anyone would want to hang around with,I hoover my way aimlessly around my environment and sometimes I lose my bearings,The place that I am in feels like the first time,the people that I see are no lesser to angels,I am in a city of angels,and these angels walk out in the dark world where everything I see is not what I touch. Estranged,I am quenching for something,I don’t know what but It is something that anyone would save stacks of cash for.

The pressure,I happened to seek from the internet a little about cerebral aneurysm,and that’s what I think my body has resolved to.As I sit on the far end of the branch of this tree,thinking of all the wonderful dreams i desire to achieve,a clouding disapproval covers my inside,I was smiling and now I can feel the cold on my frowning lips.I can feel a voice echo,reminding me how worthless and stupid I am.

That’s all I can remember to record in my journal about my dusty childhood,so i hinge it closed and place it inside my drawer at the side of my bed,brush my suit,take up my briefcase and head off to work.As I locked my house from the outside,I smiled at these words,’you are all that you have always wanted to be’.

(This is all a work of fiction and pure imagination based on strict observance and progressive interaction)

 

THAT’S THE WAY IT IS

One plus one is two just as milk is a healthy constituent of tea,somethings you don’t need a teacher to force you to comprehend,they just occur naturally.I don’t remember any part of my suckling period but I am sure as hell I trusted the process to grow my bones healthy into this stage that I am in,a stage where I am disgusted by the sight of breast milk.

One sperm was contested in a competitive swimming contest against millions of others,It took the determination and the lead,who knows of the cut-throats?maybe secretions of slimy fluids to slow down the speed of the incoming rest?all in all,It stormed the finish line with a swag and maybe one situation,it held the space leading to the winner’s circle for one or more others to accompany.The rest of the swimmers were crossed off from the competition as now the winner and maybe the runners up were declared.One thing led to another and you were born.That was survival in the inner world,an oblivious world.

Now you open your eyes to find other billions of winners whom you coexist with,only this time swimming isn’t the only way to survive.You crush,fall,break,bend,twist and turn.One event leads to another,the end of a race s the beginning of a new one.It is an infinite regression of races.If your legs dysfunction,you learn to use your arms.

Thing is,If it doesn’t occur to you today how much lucky you are to wake up to a full breeze of oxygen,then it must have been a mistake you won the race to existence.I always encourage people to reach beyond themselves and see the light that is illuminated from within their depths,I would like to assume a golden sparkling light,a winning color.You think you are unlucky because you didn’t afford an early morning breakfast,well,tell that to a wealthy stage three cancer patient whose pain limits him from getting the pleasure from sweet tastes of groundnuts.

AND IN EVERY DREAM,YOUR FACE IS ALL THAT I SEARCH FOR

I shot my first web through onto KICC tower where I swang my way to follow something that resembled a leprechaun,This thing was fast but I managed to maintain my pace and with the gift of my reflexes,I maneuvered my way through tiny spaces.My mask fit perfectly well,my costume was way cooler than I ever Imagined.But I can’t appreciate my designer cause I cant even happen to remember how I got my spiderman suit on.”I am losing grip,NO!doggone!”I could feel myself free falling,I was out of web…I open my eyes to find myself beneath the chamber of my bed,next to stuffed suitcases from when I was in high school. The leprechaun got away,I lost.

A dream is a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep.Dreams are projections of thoughts formed from solid grounds of audio-visual sensations which were earlier perceived and stored in our memory banks both consciously and unconsciously.

Why audio-visual recordings only?we only have five senses of which two,taste and smell are exclusively practical.Have you ever woke up in the morning to remember about a wedding party that was hosted in your dreams and you girlfriend Katey got you busy with a piece of tasteless cake and a glass of liquor which you weren’t sure it was but because it was served from a bottle of whisky and it really got you inebriated and turnt up through the rest of the occasion.You remember singing along to the maroon five band?

In our dreams we also respond to a false sense of touch.This happens as result of accessing a memory that is fully detailed with a set of causation,reaction and emotional responses related to certain situations.You get burnt with a flame from your lighter while trying to fix yourself a quick lunch so you could hurry back to work since your boss is an inconsiderate,bureaucratic honcho.The pain triggers your emotions and you are suddenly raging across the house,probably woeful about you freedom and your rights.

In the evening later,you manage your operations as normal and you set off to bed,then suddenly you are in hell and a basilisk with your boss’ face is frying you up.The heat is unbearable you can feel him piercing through the side of your ribs with his pitchfork.You are pretty convinced that you are thinning away.And If there is anyone sleeping beside you,this is what they will hear.”Please,mercy!you don’t have to do this,I will do anything”.Pleading voices and negotiations.

LIFEHOUSE-I WANT YOU TO KNOW

I would like to assume that I am daft and naive and that not much happening around me is of consciousness,but whoa!I can’t help but be amazed by the structural appearance of the universe and all that it holds.Not humans as per say,because I am in constant interaction with most of my own type and I really have had a lot to learn about them,I mean the frontiers that tear beyond us.The secrets past fantasies.

So I took a little time to write some of my research findings into exposure.And I will begin with the cosmological vessels,the planets.My research is not aimed at tapping what already is in  your knowledge,My research is aimed at opening our eyes to witness the beauty of the ‘ordinary’ existences.I have friends who seem less ambitious about  issues that revolve around bio discovery,So some tend to think that I am a little too boring when I am spread all over the sitting comfortably watching Nat-Geo Wild and would like me to loosen up for quick shots by the bar.They are bats of the day,blinded against the beauty that surrounds them.I wouldn’t wish to talk about my friends any further.

I personally love studying the movement of the moon around the earth,especially every full moon evening when I lie over the grassy backyard as I have a little connection with myself,Only did I come to realize later in a text that I read,that Jupiter has 67 of these amazing bodies.I would like to Imagine a person who has lived in Jupiter his whole life,he wouldn’t know the importance us earthlings have attached to the moon,he has got sixty seven of those.One moon fails to show up,the rest 66 moons back up the night.The moon fails to show up on earth and a romantic evening is possibly ruined.(The reason I did not talk about the stars)

The other day I realized my uncontrollable fear for ants,I sweat at the thought of ants.Not because they have bigger mandibles than I do,I could actually chew on a whole empire in a single mouthful. But because I realized that these insects have rather an unbreakable enthusiasm and a high spirited nature with well organized formations,speed,agility and a mastery of guerilla tactics.

Asterina gibosa,a sub-species of a starfish,not only grows with time,but also grows through different stages of sexes.A part of Its life is male and the other part is female.What a mystery,how that happens still makes me wanna meet God ask him a few questions and feel his majesty.