IS IT TRUE THAT GOD SAID I AM WHO I AM?

I came off from school rather late this evening and I had only one thing on my mind now,to lay the rest part of my day in bed.At this point,it had occurred to me how much a stressful day this was and boy!my spine nodded approval too.I lazily twisted the knob of the door that led to my room open gave a sigh and offloaded my backpack with  a thud.I hardly had anytime to adjust my room from the dirty laundry that spread across the floor of my ‘heaven cave'(That’s absolutely my room,I like calling it so cause it instills in me some sort of peace)

“My Walkman!has anyone seen my Walkman?deuce!”I never really liked anyone shifting things around my room,it brought a sense of confusion as to whom the owner of the room really was.But then again after long minutes of search,I landed my eyes on it and there I was smiling minutes later into my therapy with my healing soul music…

I am what I am and fully responsible for who I am.My knowledge is as a hard work for my construction and reconstruction.I might not be superman but atleast sometimes in my dreams I find a way to fly.Something that’s mostly worked on,anything sophisticated,comes with a manual for procedures taken.I am myself a complex life existence,meaning that If I am fully or somehow in touch with my purpose for life,I have full knowledge of myself and how I can play around to achieve some of the things I find to myself success,solely depends on my adaptation to survival.

I admire social settings,I believe in social existence,I love friends and anyone who tries to bring out the best in me.Cause after all,being in the world billions of humans with different sets of personality attributes,means a lot than just the issue of filling the world.It creates a forum for compare and contrast.We compare ourselves daily so as to know our places on this earth,you wake up every morning to set goals so as to achieve a target record almost as high as that of a billionaire you admire,you view into YouTube to get tutorials of how you could make billions in a month?(an easier way being lottery)

This is how I optimize social existence,I compare and contrast,just to get the best qualities and to filter all that I feel to me isn’t really necessarily a success requirement.After a full assessment,I take my time in solitude where I break down all that I have gathered and with that,I update my personality.

I value my personality and corrupting it means losing myself that’s why I most of the time choose to stay alone out of the confines of moral impurity.As I said,I love friends and I couldn’t be anymore of an introvert,maybe an ambivert,and I respect that.One thing I learnt about socializing is,it is a process of personality degradation,impurification.

If I happen to sit around a table with some of my four friends talking about trending issues and everyone is pitch high trying to score a point,that means that I will have left the meeting with four different perceptions installed into my personality,and with that,my personality is changed too.I am not the same person who walked into the meeting a few hours ago,my personality has shifted and I am a different person now.

This has positive and negative temperaments.If I walk out with an Idea of creating a million dollar startup project,then I am winner.If I end up getting tips on how to serial kill each and every member of my family just to inherit the family wealth,then I shouldn’t have walked in into that meeting in the first place.Value yourself and have this knowledge that you were born without knowledge and your mind is actively processing fine details that you think you don’t care about into your conscience.And that every night you lay to sleep,you sleep a different personality from the previous day.

 

I AM INNOCENT,IT IS THEM THAT TURNED ME

And finally the evening was here,I put on to play a John legend album for I found my evening to be amazingly attractive.The clouds puffed together to array into a shape of something my mind related to as a heart,which lay side to the flaming orange sun that dipped into the pockets of the horizon.I whistled my way to the shelf where I grabbed a healthy brand of whisky and as I stood contemplating a position as to where I would relax the rest part of my evening,Julie stormed in bursting in tears.

Her girlfriend,had cheated on her with a high school sweetheart(a guy named John).Julie and Melissa had been in love for close to four years now,as far as I can remember but I never took the time to understand how Julie found love in the members of her own sex.So after a few drinks,Julie started unraveling the darks of her past which later on joined into small puzzle pieces of her life.I understood.

Being the rear most in a family of four kids,she learnt a lot from her two brothers who she was in the same age bracket with.Her elder sister was quite a unit on her own as she was now employed in a firm across the street where she afforded an apartment so as to close in on her job.Julie having spent most time with her brothers,cut herself a role in most of their games,which with her innocence,she didn’t seem to quite judge.She would climb onto trees like a leopard,go for bird hunting with slings around her neck like a little Spartan.She joined the ‘pack’.

She started realizing her girl counterparts making clear divisions of their relationships with her,they zeroed in on her rough tendencies,they even noted one thing that Julie hadn’t any time noticing;Julie’s mode of dressing was ‘boy’ influenced.But Julie didn’t seem to care for she was just having a fun time playing.

She joined primary school,first days were going on good.Not until it occurred to her that she wasn’t attractive to the members of the opposite sex,in fact,boys made her childhood life unbearable.she was punched,kicked,bit,scratched verbally abused..among many of the things that heated up hell.This abuse was accorded to her ‘boyish’ characteristics which by then began manifesting in her physical attributes,to make it even more complete she designed herself a bald trademark.

Having received a sour taste of treatment,she deviced methods to enable her survival and she chose those used by her brothers,since they worked pretty well.She chose to be a fighter,she fought back,she wrecked havoc.She drew her lines,she made herself clear about hurting anyone that would make across.

As she slowly grew up,she started realizing that she was different from the rest of the girls.She reached puberty and yet not much was showing up to prove that she was really a girl,she watched other curvy girls in the wash rooms and smiled her shame away.She sat on the pavement that leads to the exit of their school as she remembered all the mean things said about her.She became even more aggressive.She remembers a time she knocked a tooth out of her deskmate,a boy,who called her a straight figured  chimp.

She started spending her time with girls oftenly and loved being in their circle as she realized that girls were less mean and had a heart that loves.This love,is what she was longing for.A person who understands her,a person who would appreciate her for being her.A growing hatred towards boys took the best of her.She made an executive decision to love and appreciate herself,she made her flaws her strengths.And in high school she met Melissa..

I interrupted her story abit to ask if she wanted her glass refilled,there is surely a lot I could learn from this side of her story,but she forced a stop to the story,claiming that the past bores a fresh hole in her heart,so we passed on to other trivial issues circling us.

(Story is purely a figment of Imagination,names don’t match the situations plotted.Based on observation and mixed up testimonies from random figures of the society)

ENERGY FROM WAFFLES AND A LITTLE MUSIC

 

It is chilly,The fog has come down on us like an imaginary blanket,you can see it but can’t feel it’s weight.The weather has something against us,it’s like it’s numbing us for a major surgical operation,slowly fading us to a snooze.You could listen to the crack sounds of the hail stones fall above the iron roof of the house that gathers my home.The rapid teeth chattering almost crack my teeth as I loose control over my muscles…

Story time just ain’t yet,and now that I have your attention,It’s important if we look at  the most important facets of life.And today,Music.

Music is an art form and cultural activity whose medium is sound and silence,that’s how Wikipedia puts it.Thats Wikipedia,that’s how it feels music to be.Ask me about music,and I will tell you,Music is the feeling that splits my soul from my body and flies it around places I have never been before.In this spiritual movement,my soul trajectory cannot be reset until the absolute mileage is covered.I am not turning back on this feeling that highly takes me.

In this world there is more to it than basic needs,there is more beyond food,shelter and clothing.To me the issue of spiritual nourishment is more than basic because it guides these which we find basic.Confused?lemme rephrase.spiritual guidance selects your culture in how you dress,live and more of how you lead your life.So if you choose a misguiding spiritual guidance set,we won’t speak so differently about your life.And music,Is really an easy way to achieve spiritual cleansing.

“Music is food for the soul”.Just imagine this comparison,music to food,think of the best ways food satisfies your energy.Think of a starved person newly in energy after a meal.Think of that which has the mandate to be classified in the same hierachy as food.You probably woke today to buffet of English breakfast or just a piece of unleavened bread and a sip of salted water;that’s how basic music is,you could get musical ‘malnutrition’

Think of a meal you had on Christmas and now you would like to list it among your favorite meals,think of a song that did change your temperament about life and every time it plays you are reminded of the person you have become.It motivates you,and you play it down the alley as you walk over to your work place joyously,it assures you of a healthy day at work.

Let the music take control,Appeal to the world with a musical approach,a fine way to change the world.

 

 

I HATE YOUR PERCEPTION

That day when all will resurrect and all the most outstanding figures of history will breathe to life,to me,I will let go of everything else and focus on two of the most prominent gifts of nature;wisdom vs knowledge.I would like to see an amazing combination of the wisest man to have ever lived(King Solomon) and the most philosophical element of the bible(Jesus) stand on one ground at the same epoch of time.

Human beings,created in different touches,have different tastes of knowledge build ups.What you know I don’t know and vice versa.A mad man may to us be an outcasted complexity of nature but to it,that’s just a theory we tend to bring up,extracted from wide laws governing sanity,laws created by man.

The knowledge of an insane man to us is unclear and that’s what brings out the indifference and bias.He knows what it feels to walk out in the streets everyday collecting litter and God knows where they take them.He laughs at things we find mysteriously nonexistent,but that,that is his joy.He laughs and grows fat despite the fact that he might lay his head on a heap of litter he strived to complile during the day(now I understand the litter is used to build homes).

They get mistreated in the most bizarre ways possible;rapes,physical abuse,segregation,misjudgment,impregnated and as if not enough,contract sexual transmitted diseases.And what do they do?they wake up every other morning like the last laughing and cheering themselves up,they sing and dance to create scenes for us to enjoy and make judgements about,and they just don’t seem to care.If anyone has ever seen an organized clique of mad men,more of a power circle,should update my knowledge cause to me that’s like experiencing a double-moon evening.

They believe in solitude and lack the confidence to share their problems off their chests.what they do is laugh,It’s really their medicine.Most of the mad guys I have seen around are huge in body and expose a great deal of physical healthiness,what they eat,God knows.Stale food,dirty water or on rare happenings,blessings from the hand of a Samaritan.Do they cry?maybe if they do it in hidden isolation from the public.Have I witnessed one crying?never!

Do they have romantic escapades?to them that is an issue that is exclusively human.Do they care?do they have caring hearts?I have seen one with a baby that she walked around with every time tied to her back with a shawl.What she fed to keep it alive,also,God knows.

EVRYTHING STARTS FROM SOMETHING

The rusty coin from the illustration above predicts a lot that has or is happening in our  diurnal rhythms.You may notice the one thousand note at first then after a delayed scrutiny,end up noticing the twenty shilling coin,Then the one shilling coin.I may not be trying to bring out an issue of greed here,I am trying to explain an inherent design of man.I am trying to back up the issue of difference threshold.

Difference threshold is the point at which can tell a difference between stimuli.Which comes after sensory adaptation.

Sensory adaptation is the process by which our senses adapt to an experience of constant stimulation.

Sensory adaptation happens before difference threshold and in this instance I will give an experimental clue about the stars.When you walk out the evening skies and get tempted to have a glimpse of the stars,what do you notice first?of course,it should be the brightest star you see,which you spend a lot of time staring at to admire its magnificence just before you neck twist to notice the rest of the clusters of the stars.

Back to the illustration and back to my essence of topic.The rusty one shilling coin misplaced from the company of the rest of the currencies,happens to be the most important unit.It is the building block of the rest of the currencies.It is called a shilling,a thousand of those form a much larger currency which blinds our interests as appearing in printed papers.Moral story suggests that to make a thousand,you first have to make one.You can never start midway.Even those earning millions a month,are being paid for their  time per unit shilling.Time is money they said,the more you use it,the more shillings you get,the more they accumulate into notes in shillings.

If you find value in the smallest things that people take for granted,the more your chances of having a head over them.Shift your difference threshold to the basic cornerstones of formations and you will have that which many find attractive.

 

MY MONTHLY REVIEW

That Moment I hit 21 years,last year December,I realized something.I have grown into a shape of something,an evolution of combined efforts aimed to tool the works of the society.A picture to remind the hopeless of the heat within their souls. A person who might not get all the love,but speaks for what is right and just.A person who breaks from fixed ambitions and pierces out to the free air to see what the Eagles see broadly.A portrait that symbolizes the freedom of the wind and the humility of the rainbow.

EPISTEMOLOGY

Before we head any further,let us first try to understand various terms so we could get a lead of what we are about to come across during the rest of this post.

Epistemology is a philosophical noun that in the dictionary translates to the investigation of what distinguishes justified belief from opinion.

Just from which justified branches from,is an adjective to mean factually fair,among other definitions.

Belief is trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something.

Opinion is a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

So this means to us that epistemology is a set of laws to put aside Facts from Beliefs and opinions.

Traditional performers of the olden civilization in Kenya still believe in the possession of rain making powers;They would go through a number of gibberish chants and animal sacrifices and promise the community healthy upcoming prospects.When rain fails to shower,a serious reason is attached,’The gods must be angry’or a similar sort of reason to blind the society from their incapabilities.The society in turn heads on to bring forth their best for sacrifice.I don’t know if the system works,but all I know is that we all have those things we believe in which in turn help us to grow.

Eating Icecubes to help you get rid of your drug addiction,is merely a fact but is a belief  that manages your addiction.So in essence,A belief may be only of importance if its relevance has a great significance to our shaping.So most of the times we tend to ignore facts and choose to believe because one thing a belief has is the power of hope.When you have faith in something,you expect something out of it.The only reason why man lives today is because of the hope factor.A student works hard in his studies with a hope for a brighter future.A soldier goes to the battle field with a hope that he will see his family again.

Some beliefs are just misleading,others,well,they can be proved factually and continue to exist effectively,and others can never be proved but help us to cope within our environment.I personally wouldn’t give a hoot about the archeologist who discovered the ten commandments in dusty tied scrolls or if some ancient philosopher came up with an Idea to maintain a still humanity so he wrote a list of ten things that should be eliminated from the society and accredited the message to a supreme being,still I don’t care.As long as it’s working and helping humanity cut across survival in systematic procedures.

From a good belief system,sub-roots of weaker strands of opinions which result from a need to break things down and have a wide scope of knowledge emerge from the stem of the root.Philosophers come in to argue their opinions against a certain belief because again,a belief isn’t yet a fact.Thanks to the likes of Plato,David Hume,Socrates,B.F Skinner,Freud Sigmund and many among the great philosophers,the world has transformed a great deal to the better.

Frederick F. Schmitt spoke of having an epistemic responsibility for your beliefs,in the sense that you can believe what you want to but if it has no factual content,then it should not extend to the building of the lives of other people.

 

BEYOND VISUAL EXPERIENCE

Life🤔!what is life?well confined in planet earth,something that it boasts to other planets about.The most active planet,I don’t know really if it’s a good or bad thing.That’s the point,good or bad.what’s good?then again,what’s bad?concepts,with all that is lying down across all knowledge,was built highly from integrating words with natural order.A one year old baby will cry when agitated and let out soft gags when engaged in progressive clowning inclusive of making goofy faces,yet it can’t put this feeling into context.A serious phenomenon that can’t in anyway go wrong.You would be crazy to poke your mother angrily in the eye for making your birthday anniversary a moment of chills.Laugh at the advent of a terrorist attack,and everyone will prove your alligience to the massacre.

What this is,remains a world of utmost extremes which serve as a measuring stick to guide the degrees of our experiences.Without them,we wouldn’t have the word ‘difference’ in our dictionaries.There runs a spectrum where all qualities are gauged;sweet and sour,excellent and poor,rational and irrational among so many more.

A wild Rhino is a nightmare to a lad who got his hipbone crushed on the onset of a Rhino stampede,a different feeling for another who had thieves rammed off his compound by a Rhino he now would like to make acquaintance with.

The above illustration shows how rational beings can get themselves confused in situations,a similar concept can create different situations thus different responses.In this case a Rhino is the concept(good or bad) that can create situations open to judgements from the outcome.

I don’t need blinding light but fill my soul with that which is bright and an eye that can see,So I could tell the world how beautiful your work is.

 

I AM WHO I AM TO YOU IT DOES NOT MATTER

Having spent most part of my life in by the countryside,I happen to be a big fan of Keith Urban and Kenny Rodgers who partially took part in my upbringing as my father had collections of his albums in well stored stereo cassettes and on his birthday he would play some of it as he held his wife by her hand,whose shy feet lacked a rhythm. He would whistle to his songs as he knew bits and bits of Kenny Rodger’s most popular song which happens to be his favorite ‘evening star’.It was a little bit like this;

“Evening star

shine a little Heaven
On a stranger with no dream
Where you are.

You can see the loneliness I mean and if I gotta fight
I can never play somebody else’s game
I can follow the evening star
Starlight, you never need somebody else’s name
If you follow the evening star.”

I would see him march into the garden with fully upgraded psyche with his oily earphones stuffed into his ears and jacked into his old taped scanner handed to him by his elder brother who works at a hospital in the city.He wasn’t all learned but trust me he had the philosophy of Socrates and the wisdom somewhat to that of Solomon.He knew his tomes from where he read and would sit me down and teach me to fly like an Eagle and hunt like a lion,share like the sun,stand tall like a mountain,erupt like a volcano and be still like water.Most importantly he loved ants for their enthusiasm and bees for their loyalty.

He taught me how to live within myself  with the persistence that nobody can love me the way I do.He shared that all I have,I created,but can be brought down by those that exist within.He Initiated a spirit to appreciate the little I have to light up a flame.”My son,even rocks light up fires,don’t be in a desperation to search for matches.”He made me realize that we can tap our potential within challenging settings.

Now that I am older,I learnt to live by his ways,but that doesn’t restrict me from learning by other social perspectives,cause he promised me to be better than he is.Meaning that If I only live by what he said,I would only be a younger version of him.So he sent me into the world to discover the me I am.

I am part of him though cause I chose country music to rule over my joy cause it brings those static nostalgic memories of when he used to pick me up by my axilla and toss me up to the blinding rays of the sun then head on to brush my hair,kiss me on my forehead and promise a never ending love.I still believe that he will watch over me when that time comes when we will not be physically bonding,and If my time comes before,I promise to be his guardian angel.Cause what’s better than having that faith that guides you?That which you believe in without unnecessary pressure from the pillars that hold the society.That which makes you unique from the rest,makes you answerable to your name.The belief that guided Romeo and Juliet to die within the confines of each other’s love despite the negativity from the society.

And as a part of my fathers teachings,most parents teach their children to live with the society’s back grounding and forget to teach them how to live with themselves.

I would like to believe that if I believe to hold that power to change the society,then it is within that power that I hold,that I could make something out of my direct family,Kids and wife/husband.And If I go wrong in the process of trying to smooth things up,that means that I am one of the reasons for societal decay.Change occurs from integrating adjacent links so as to widen the thought to a larger multitude.

WE DONT BREAK,WE BEND.

She smiles as she tries to make it to her feet but her frail bones can withstand the weight of her body no more.My guess is she weighs less than a gallon of water,I believe in the strength of the wind to fly her away,I believe in the currents of the river to mash her apart.You could distinguish the airborne alarm screeches of the Hawks from the tense atmosphere from where we stand.

You could describe the poisonous stature of the land that hosted an uncategorized  variety of carcasses that spread across the dusty paths.The shrubs that strived to prove the level of existence were held firm by the rough texture of the soil,but having adapted the harsh conditions,they seem to grow beneath the energy of the scorching sun to accelerate the inhabitable conditions.

You only appreciate the importance of your thumb and you index finger when you can’t cover your nostrils from the sharp unappealing smell that prevails resulting from decaying targets.To her,the smell of death is part of her environment.

She opens her eyes slowly as If her eyelids are glued together so as to take a recording of her last surrounding environment.She spreads her arms against the unslacken soil that breathes heavily upon her.You could see her skeleton shaped against her elastic skin;you could see her heart pounding in an unrhythmic order as If attempting to mechanically dissolve.

She licks her chapped lips as she struggles to talk but she runs short of breath and the only strength she gathers she uses to drag her helpless body across the sandy ground as If trying to search for something but out of utter determination,she comes to a full statement in question of where her Children lay and the only liquid part of her is discharged as tears that don’t even fall midway her cheeks.

A few yards away are her scattered new born triplet babies whose shrill cries tense up the air with no thoughtful decisions as how to go about the natural wrecks.

Some of the situations that are possible in African settings create waterfalls for our eyes.We advocate for advanced communal harmony.Lets work together.